Don't Let This Happen to You!

For many of us, stress is a major enemy of work-life balance.  If we want to achieve and maintain balance in all areas of our lives, we need to learn effective ways to reduce stress – and even eliminate it.

Executive mentor Bobb Biehl says that as high as 85% of the stress we feel in life is caused by:

1. Indecision
2. Lack of control

I absolutely have found this to be true in my own life. What about you?

Stress from Indecision

I can point to several instances where indecision on my part has created a lot of stress in my life and the lives of others, and where indecision on the part of others has created stress in my life.

Sometimes, the fear of making the wrong choice paralyzes us and keeps us from making a decision.  Other times, we just delay the inevitable by putting off the decision until a later date.  In either case, the indecision causes stress in our lives and the lives of others.

Also, I’ve observed that I have sometimes put off making a decision because I didn’t think I had the time right then and there to decide.  But this thinking is deceptive, because in the end, it actually costs me more time to be indecisive than to just make a decision.  Huh?  How is that possible?

When I’m indecisive, the scenario keeps popping up in my mind, and I keep thinking about it, and the possible choices, over and over and over again.  And, if others are waiting on me for a decision, they’re frequently asking (or nagging) me whether I’ve made the decision or not – which again costs me time.

I’ve found it better to make the decision right then and there, if at all possible.  And if I can’t do it immediately, then I need to schedule a time when I can fully think it through once and for all, and make the decision.  That way everyone knows when the decision will be made.

Stress from Lack of Control

When I feel stress from a lack of control, I feel helpless to be able to change my situation, either because of decisions I’ve made (or not made) myself, or decisions that others have made (or not made) for me.

In these situations, I need to remind myself that I do have some control over some things like:

• My actions that are required
• How I’m going to respond to the situation
• How I will treat others who are involved

One of the lessons I’ve learned (and need to keep reminding myself) is that I may not be able to control the outcome of a given situation (like the amount of income raised by the nonprofit organization I work for), but I can control my inputs (the things I do to help raise that money).

Stress from Clutter

As an aside, I’ve noticed in my own life that a lot of stress has come from clutter.  I’ve found that clutter is rooted in both indecision, because I haven’t decided where something (be it an email, a piece of paper, or something else) should go, and lack of control, because I sometimes feel too busy to take the time to put things in their proper place.

Over the years, I’ve learned that there is a high cost to clutter in my life – both in terms of the time wasted by trying to find something, and in the frustration and stress it caused.

I still have a ways to go, but I’m learning how to unclutter my office and life and enjoy more stress-free productivity.

So how can we reduce and eliminate the stress in our lives?  Bobb Biehl offers these tips:

When you are feeling stress, focus your attention on two very specific questions:

1. What three pressing decisions do I most need to make?
2. What three areas of my life feel most out of control?

Any decision you make or area you can get under control will bring an immediate reduction in your stress level.

Are you feeling stress right now due to indecision or lack of control in your  finances, career, family, or other life areas?

If so, following Bobb’s advice, can you identify the three pressing decisions you most need to make, and the three areas of your life that feel most out of control?

What decisions can you make right now to resolve that stress?  Could time tagging help?

You might also like:

• The decision making process:  7 strategies for success
• Life’s greatest truth and hardest lesson:  Everything is a choice
• 8 tips for overcoming a bad decision
  

Is your company one of the 10 best employers for work-life balance?

Fortune recently released their list of the top 100 companies in America to work for.  Included in that list were the top 10 Best Employers for Work-Life Balance.  According to Fortune, “These are the companies where employees feel encouraged to balance their work and personal life.”

Here’s the list of the 10 best companies for work-life balance, ranked from 1-10. The number in parenthesis to the right of each company’s name is their ranking as part of the 100 best companies to work for.

1. SAS (1) – One of the Best Companies for the 13 years Fortune has been counting, SAS boasts a laundry list of benefits — high-quality child care at $410 a month, 90% coverage of the health insurance premium, unlimited sick days, a medical center staffed by four physicians and 10 nurse practitioners (at no cost to employees), a free 66,000-square-foot fitness center and aquatic center, a lending library, and a summer camp for children.
2. Edward Jones (2) – The investment adviser weathered the recession without closing one of its 12,615 offices or laying off a single employee (the British division was sold in October). Salaries were frozen, but profit sharing continued.
3. Recreational Equipment (14) – This consumer co-op that attracts active, outdoorsy employees has grown from 10 stores in 1985 to 110 today. CEO Sally Jewell identifies its chief competitor as an “increasingly sedentary lifestyle that leaves adults and children with little time for outdoor recreation.”
4. Scottrade (27) – Brokerage house where almost all managers are promoted from the lower ranks bucked the recession, laying off no one, hiring more than 1,000 new associates, and opening 58 new branches. Benefits include an on-site fitness center and subsidized gym memberships.
5. Robert W. Baird & Co. (11) – No Wall Street blues here. Investment adviser continued to hire throughout 2008 and 2009, screening applicants via rigorous interviews to ensure that they passed the firm’s “no a**hole” rule.
6. DPR Construction (57) – No one has a private office at this general contractor, and titles are taboo. Employees get fat checks ($5,000 to $20,000) for new-hire referrals.
7. MITRE (69) – Nonprofit systems-engineering firm for the federal government spends $7 million a year on employee training; 65% of employees hold an advanced degree.
8. Nugget Market (5) – The tough economy prompted the supermarket chain to help associates by giving them cards good for 10% discounts on $500 of groceries every month. At one employee-appreciation event, the executive team surprised everyone by washing the cars of all associates.
9. QuikTrip (41) – New employees at this Midwest chain of convenience stores are taken under the wing of mentors, who work with them for two weeks. Full-time turnover is 12% (unheard of in the industry), and the company maintains an IT staff of 79 to keep things running smoothly. Sales per store are the highest of any convenience store in the U.S.
10. Johnson Financial Group (22) – Employees who fall on hard times know they can count on Johnson for support. For instance, pay will be kept intact while an associate is out due to crisis. Says CEO Richard Hansen: JFG will always “do what is right.”

My take on the list:

1. It is interesting that #1 and #2 on this list of the top 10 employers for work-life balance are also #1 and #2 on the top 100 list.
2. SAS is the world’s largest privately owned software company.  Fortune reports that staff turnover there is only 2%.  Truly, they’ve created a culture of trust between the management and employees, because no one wants to leave!
3. Four companies are in the financial services industry: Scottrade, Robert W. Baird, Johnson Financial Group and Edward Jones.  Has their corporate culture played a role in helping them whether the recession?  I visited Johnson Financial Group’s website and noticed their tagline is: “We’ll treat you like family.”  Sounds like it begins with their employees.
4. Two companies, Nugget Market and QuikTrip, are grocery/convenience store chains. I worked at a grocery store during high school and a convenience store during my university days, and I can tell you that there can be extremely high turnover in those stores because it is an entry-level job for many.  I’m very impressed that QuikTrip’s turnover rate for full-time employees is just 14%.

Looking back on my own employment experiences, I realize that I’ve been pretty blessed to work for good employers for all of my professional life.  For bosses who cared not only about my performance at work, but also my personal and family life.

Ten years ago, I faced a personal crisis when my oldest son was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  He was 3-1/2 at the time and went through two surgeries, was hospitalized for 5 weeks, and endured several months of twice-weekly therapy appointments.  In addition to this son, we had an 18-month old toddler, and my wife was nearly 9 months pregnant with our 3rd child (who was born while our oldest was still hospitalized).

It was a crazy time in our lives, to say the least.  My employer was extremely generous in giving me time off and a flexible schedule when I did return to work, so I could take him to all those therapy appointments.  Oh, by the way, my son is now 13 years old and, except for a scar on the back of his head, you’d never know any of this happened. We thank God for this nearly every day.

Today, I’m the CEO of a nonprofit organization.  Do I care about helping my very small staff balance their work and personal life?  In the words of Sarah Palin, you betcha! I personally enjoy the freedom of a flexible work schedule and I offer that to my staff. And, when I travel away from home (as I frequently do) for work, I make it up to my family when I get home.  I don’t have any employees that travel, but if I did, I’d offer them the same.  Also, I don’t care what people wear (as long as it’s neat) and I like to make work fun – for myself and everyone.

How would you rate the company you work for in terms of how they promote your sense of work-life balance?  What factors are important to you?  Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

You might also like:
The benefit of work-life balance coaching in my life
Does career planning still work in a down economy?
What do you want from life?

How do you organize your work day?  Do you focus on certain important tasks or projects first thing in the morning, before other things can get in the way?  Or do you just do things whenever you feel like it?  It’s an interesting question, as I believe how we approach our day can affect our level of stress and sense of work-life balance.

Has this ever happened to you: You get to the office, turn on your computer, and start checking email. Then you respond to a few calls and check more email. Then you surf the web and check the news and latest info on topics that interest you. Then answer another call.

All of a sudden, it is lunchtime. And you have no idea where your morning went? And you’re mad at yourself for not accomplishing the project or task that you had planned to do, but never got down to it?

Yep, it’s happened to me…and I’m pretty sure it’s happened to all of us at one time or another. I’ve noticed that when I fritter away my morning, or day, like this and have nothing to show for it, I start to feel the stress level rising.  I start to feel overwhelmed because I haven’t made progress on the important things on my to-do list.

As a result, I either have to work late to make up for the time I lost (which means my family is now being impacted) or I just put it off until the next day, where the cycle could start all over again.

So, how can we organize our work day in way that reduces workplace stress and maintains our work-life balance?

Unclutterer shared this tip recently:  Do your most important work first, at the beginning of your day. That way, you ensure that you do your best and most important work when you are at your best, and before you get bogged down by other distractions that may come your way later in the day.

I’ve followed this approach for some time, but have modified it slightly.  I plan my most important tasks twice a day:  first thing in the morning, and first thing after lunch.  I do it this way because I know these are my most productive times of the day. By doing this, I guarantee that I’ll be at my best when it comes time to focus on a project.

How do you structure your work day? When are your most productive times?Do you get your most important tasks completed first thing in the morning? Or, do you procrastinate and put off the hard work hoping that maybe it will just go away? Tell me what works best for you in the comments section.

You might also like:
Can time-tagging your to-do list increase productivity?
Work-life balance defined:  What is it, and how do you achieve it?
How to shave 10 hours off your work week

How do you balance your time?  Notice I didn’t ask “How do you manage your time?” or “How do you organize your time?”

We talk a lot here about how to create and maintain balance in our lives, across the seven basic life areas.  If we don’t make a conscious effort to live a balanced life, we will tend to spend too much energy in one or two life areas (for many of us, it’s our career) to the neglect of the others.

I recently read an article from Pick The Brain which shared some ideas on how to balance our use of time, across the six key types of time.  Again, if we’re not aware of how we use our time, we’ll tend to focus on certain types of time to the neglect of others.

Here are the six key types of time we need:

• Creative and productive
• Physically energetic and active
• Playful and entertaining
• Learning and developing
• Reflective and spiritual
• Restful and relaxing

Over the next few days, I’ll share a definition for each type of time, a report on how I’ve done at balancing my use of time across these six key types, and some strategies for how you and I can utilize each type of time in a way that leads to greater balance in our lives.

Here at LifeCompassBlog, I’ve given you what I think are some good reasons for pursuing work-life balance.

Today I’m going to give you some reasons why it may be OK to get out of balance in the short-term, and six tips on how to do it in a way that ultimately restores balance, builds your family life, and helps you achieve your long-term goals.

I just read a story at FreeMoneyFinance about The Hildebrandt family of New Richmond, WI, which eliminated $106,000 in debt in five years.  They did it the old-fashioned way, by cutting costs and increasing revenue.

To increase their revenue, the dad took a second job working in a grocery store in the middle of the night.  His schedule was absolutely crazy.  He’d work his day job, then come home, eat dinner with the family, take a nap, then go to his night job from midnight to 4:30, then come home, take a nap, then go to his day job.

A casual observer might look at their situation and conclude that the dad’s life was seriously out of balance and that he was pursuing money at the expense of his health and family life.

But if we look a little closer, we gain some good insights on when and why, I believe, it might be OK to do this. Here are some tips we can learn from the Hildebrandts, along with some others I thought of:

1. Have a specific goal in mind. This family made a serious commitment to get out of debt.  Other potential reasons why it may be ok:  Start a business (full or part-time), go back to school, or any other major goal or commitment that will help bring more freedom into your life.
2. Find a way to impact multiple life areas. This isn’t always possible, but you’ll move ahead farther, faster, if you can work on several life areas at the same time.  For example, this family’s decision to pay off debt positively impacted their “financial” life area, but it also was going to do good things long-term for their “career”, “family”, “health” life areas too, by giving them less stress and more freedom to do what they wanted in the future.
3. Consider the cost up-front. They decided that, to get out of debt, dad was going to have to work more, and they were going to have to spend less on other activities.  In other words, they realized that some things are going to have to suffer short-term in order to achieve the long-term goal.  People get into huge trouble, and stress, when they think they can make a major change in one area while also trying to keep all the other areas moving along at the same speed.
4. Agree on a specific time frame. They decided to make these changes for a specific purpose and a specific time frame.  They were all looking forward to the day when their goal would be reached.  Once it was, the dad was able to quit his extra job.
5. Commit to regular check-ups. Whenever we’re making some major change in our lives, we need to do regular check-ups with everyone that is affected.  Make sure everyone’s still on the same page, that they see light at the end of the tunnel, that they’re still working toward the same goal for the reason that was decided on at the beginning.  Without these check-ups, people can lose heart.
6. Plan rewards at milestones. Set some intermediate goals or milestones along the way, and find a way to celebrate those.  It gives people hope, and helps them see the progress that is being made toward the big goal.

For more tips on how families can make major change and handle competing priorities, check out my review of Pat Lencioni’s book The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family.

Do you have any other ideas or comments?  If so, please be sure to share them!

Nearly every day, I hear a story of someone who is extremely successful in their career, but a failure in some area of their personal life.  You’ve probably heard the stories too, of…

• Sports stars who win big on the playing field, but not in their finances.
• Business leaders who invest in the personal growth of their employees, but not their own kids.
• Entrepreneurs who invest much time and energy into growing their business, but take no time to care for their health.
• Sales people who know how to make their customers feel special, but not their spouse.
• Blue collar workers who give it their all during their shift, but have nothing left to give at home.

I’m confident that no one sets out to do this – to win at their work at the expense of other areas of their life, like family, health and finaces.  It just happens, right?  After all, most of us spend much more time at our job than we do in the other life areas.

It doesn’t really “just happen” if we think about it, though.

I’ve found that most people who are successful in certain areas of their lives have made a plan, and a concerted effort, to be successful in those areas.

Conversely, when people are not successful in other areas of their lives, it is because they have not made a plan, and a concerted effort, to be successful in those areas.

Thus, the old axiom is true: “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”

Is Achieving Balance at Life and Work Important?

As I said in “How to Define Work-Life Balance”, work-life balance is:

An intentional state of harmony and wholeness that exists within the seven major life areas (categories) in a person’s life:  Family, Career, Financial, Social, Health, Personal Development, and Spiritual/Ethical.

Pursuing work-life balance is important to me because I want to enjoy the peace and harmony that comes from living a balanced life…from focusing my time and energies on the things that are most important to me..and not just the things that clamor the loudest for my attention.

Deep down, the thing that motivates me the most is…the feeling of regret.

When I come to the end of my days, I don’t want to regret for one moment that I cared more about work, money or my personal hobbies and habits, than I did for my family.  Do you?

That’s why I’m on a journey toward work-life balance, and a journey toward success in all areas of my life.  It’s all about the life I want to live with my family now, and the legacy I want to leave behind when I’m gone.

What about you?  Are you satisfied with where you’re at in life right now?  Do you feel like you’re giving the attention you want to give to the life areas that are most important to you?

If not, stick around here, sign up for my RSS feed if you haven’t already.  And we’ll walk this journey together.

In How to Define Work-Life Balance?, I shared my belief, from personal experience, that work-life balance is a journey, not necessarily a destination.

I’ve been on this journey to achieve greater balance in my life and work since 1999, thanks to an older man I knew from church, who sought me out one day.

He’d been an executive coach for years, helping hundreds of men and women grow their businesses, achieve their dreams, and find true success in all areas of life.  Now, he said, he felt led to tell me all he knew about living a life of success and significance – if I desired to hear it and put it into practice.

Something told me that I needed to hear what he had to say, so I said yes.  He’s been a coach and mentor for me for over 10 years now.  He’s inspired me to make an intentional effort to live the life I want instead of just letting life happen to me.

Before he began coaching me, I hadn’t really given much thought to living “on purpose” – I just let things happen as they came my way.  Didn’t everybody?

I learned later that the answer to that question is No – successful people don’t just let life happen, they make it happen.

Over time, he showed me some specific strategies that would help me…

• Get the most out of life and live to my full potential.
• Help me accelerate the achievement of the goal and dreams that were most important to me, with the people who were most important to me.
• Invest what I’m learning in the lives of others.

Best of all, he showed me how to live a life free of regret, and that has been a gift of immeasurable value.

As I close out this post, let me ask you the same question my coach asked me when we first met:

If I could show you some proven ways you can know your life’s purpose, accelerate the achievement of your dreams and goals, and be a success in all areas of life, would that be of interest to you?

If your answer is yes, subscribe to my RSS feed (if you haven’t already), so you won’t miss any of the strategies that he shared with me, that I’ll be sharing here at Life Compass.

Next time, I’ll tell you my real motivation for pursuing a balanced life.

We don’t often think about work-life balance until someone or something tells us we don’t have it.  By then, it is sometimes too late.

Like when your spouse says, “I don’t love you anymore,” or when the kids say they hate that you’re never home (and when you are home, you’re not really home, if you know what I mean).  Or when you’re rushed to the hospital due to a stroke or heart attack.

Sadly, these things don’t just happen out of the blue, without warning, because our lives don’t get out of balance in one day, without warning.  We lose balance over time, through a series of actions that, in and of themselves, may not be so bad.  But add them all up, and we are way off course from where we want to be.  And the warning signs are there…but we often deceive ourselves into thinking we can keep doing the same things but somehow get different results.

What is Work-Life Balance?

I define work-life balance as an intentional state of harmony and wholeness that exists within the seven major life areas (categories) in a person’s life:  Family, Career, Financial, Social, Health, Personal Development, and Spiritual/Ethical.

It is true that many people tend to focus more on their career life area to the detriment of the others – most often the family life area.  This happens because we typically spend so much of our time and energy at work.  But really, any life area can become out of balance by focusing too much, or too little, energy there.

When I say that work-life balance is “an intentional state of harmony,” I mean that it does not happen naturally, or by default.  If it did, we wouldn’t have millions of stressed-out people in this world, would we?  When we re-orient our lives toward achieving balance, we enjoy more peace and less stress.

How is Work Life Balance Achieved?

From my experience, work-life balance is a journey, not necessarily a destination.  I find that I achieve the most balance (and harmony) in my life when I do these four things:

1. Make a conscious decision to prioritize my personal values and commitments (goals) within each life area.  Each life area must get attention, but not all life areas carry the same weight at the same time.  And not all commitments within each life area are of the same importance.
2. Create a written plan of action designed to help me achieve these commitments.
3. Set aside time each week to track and review the progress being made.
4. Recruit an accountability partner to check up on you and hold you accountable for the commitments you’ve made.

I think #3 and #4 are missing ingredients for many people, and the reason why we so often fail at achieving work-life balance.

Let’s face it, it is easy for most of us to craft a plan.  But real success comes from implementing the plan, not just making it.  It comes from tracking and reviewing progress and making adjustments as needed.  And when others know of our plans and agree to hold us accountable and encourage us to succeed.

Over the next few posts, I’ll explain exactly how to follow these steps toward work-life balance, so be sure to come back, or sign up for our RSS feed so you don’t miss it.  Next, I’ll tell you How My Journey Toward Work-Life Balance Began.