A few weeks ago, I shared my ideas on how I planned to enjoy holiday food without the weight gain this year. I mentioned that in the past I have frequently gained a few pounds during the holidays due to all the special meals, desserts, parties, etc.

Well, yesterday was Thanksgiving Day in America, the unofficial start of the Christmas eating (and shopping) season. Here’s an update on how I’m doing so far . . .

Earlier in the week I prepared myself by making trade-offs in my diet by eating less (and better) food during regular meals.  Knowing this might not be enough to counter-act the extra calories I’d be eating during Thanksgiving weekend, I also increased the frequency and intensity of my exercise routines, with the hopes of speeding up my metabolism. I typically work out at the YMCA in the mornings, but this week I’ve added additional workouts at home in the evenings, using the Jillian Michaels – 30 Day Shred DVD (Jillian is one of the trainers on the hit TV show The Biggest Loser).

As for the big Thanksgiving meal itself, I filled my plate with a small serving of each of the items I cared about.  Gratefully, I didn’t pig-out or stuff myself. And for dessert, I enjoyed smaller slivers of each pie, instead of having larger pieces.

So that’s how I’m doing so far.  There are still lots of holiday meals and events coming up, but I’m planning on continuing my extra exercise routines throughout the holidays.

How’d you do?

You might also like:
How to Survive the Holidays and Maintain Balance
How to Beat Holiday Stress and Busyness
13 Ways to Save Money & Beat the Stress of Holiday Shopping & Gift Giving
How to Change Expectations During the Holidays or Anytime
How to Cope with Holiday Stress

The following is a guest post from Stephen Thomas at Life Change For You!, as part of my series on How to Survive the Holidays & Maintain Balance.

During the holidays there can be a lot of stress and I would like to address one very important kind and my solution to it. Coping with holiday stress can take the fun out of family gatherings and worse, create tension in relationships.

During the holiday season, there are gatherings for celebrations and sharing of meals. We fill the house to overflowing with people that we see often and those we do not. We also fill the house with people we get along with and those we don’t, or at least not so well. This is the process I have used in the past. Now I will admit that I have not always remembered to use this technique and those times, unfortunately, did not go as well as the times I have.

Okay, enough build up. Here is the technique. I love to watch people. When my wife and I go to the mall, she shops and I watch people. I like to sit on one of those benches and watch people walk by. As I watch, I ask myself questions about them. Why do they dress that way? Who are they and what makes them tick? What kind of hardship has life thrown at them and how did that mold who they are? If given the chance, how would they change their life?

When I am in a holiday family gathering, I try to do the same thing. I get myself into the mall mode and watch people. I look at them and their life without judgment. I ask myself the same types of questions. Who are they really and what is their life like? What is it they are trying to say with their words and their actions?

This allows me to let Aunt Mable’s comment about my favorite sweater go and realize that she is just a bitter woman who needs to cut down others so she doesn’t feel so worthless herself. I can watch my niece’s son stick his snot covered fingers directly into the jello bowl and feel her embarrassment, instead of wanting to strangle the little devil.

You may think that this technique is impersonal and that I am being unloving. I fell nothing of the sort! Using this way of looking at people helps me to see past their faults and learn to love them as they are and for who they are. Granted, my mental images and reasons for what they do or say may be far from the truth, their truth, but it helps me to see them as people. We so often label others and forget that they are human just like us and they are trying to live life as best they can, just like us.

You may not like this mall mode of thinking to cope with holiday stress, but for me, it works much better than getting into a huge fight or getting so inebriated that nothing bothers me. Whatever your method of coping with holiday stress, may you have a very blessed holiday season.

You might also like…
How to Survive the Holidays and Maintain Balance
How to Beat Holiday Stress and Busyness
How to Enjoy Holiday Food Without the Weight Gain
13 Ways to Save Money & Beat the Stress of Holiday Shopping & Gift Giving
How to Change Expectations During the Holidays or Anytime

“We’re going to have to cut back on Christmas this year.”

I heard that statement several times when I was growing up.  One instance I vividly remember is when my dad was out of work due to a strike at his factory.  I think I was maybe 10 or 11 years old.  Christmas was a bit slim that year.  And yet, somehow I survived!

Sadly, as an adult, I’ve known more than a few people who, even when times are tough, insist on giving their kids a “good Christmas,” whatever that means.  For them, it means spending as much (or maybe even more) on gifts for their kids this year as they would have in “good” years.

Maybe they thought it was important to do that so their kids wouldn’t feel deprived.  But what  happened?  They might have a nice Christmas morning, but then they don’t have the money to pay the rent or mortgage on January 1st, or they get that big credit card bill in the mail and have no way to pay it off.  Then, instead of Christmas joy, they’re faced with fear and stress.

I didn’t think much of it when I was a kid, but as an adult, I realized that my parents gave me an extra gift that year.  They changed my expectations.  And I believe that helped us all to have a “good” Christmas.

Because they told me that times were tight and that they couldn’t afford to buy many gifts that year, I was able to adjust my expectations, and also my wants and desires.  Instead of having a Christmas list with 20 big things on it, I narrowed it down to just a few inexpensive things that I would really appreciate and enjoy the most.

I also learned a real-life lesson:  sometimes, we have to make changes and choices.  I learned that I could participate in my family’s long-term financial success by being OK with simple gifts.

I’m writing about this as part of my “How to Survive the Holidays” series, but the principle works any time of the year  Whenever you want to make change in your life, you need to change both your expectations, and the expecations of all those who will be impacted.

Whether it is a decision to go back to school, get a second job, cut back on entertainment expenses, ask the kids to help out more, change your job to something more meaningful, changes need to be made.  It can’t be “business as usual” anymore.

So how do you help people change their expectations?

• First, it is important thing you need to do is help them see the big picture – the long-term goal or reason you’re making the change.
• Second, help them see how they can help contribute positively to the change – how they can make a difference.
• Third, plan some kind of reward or way to celebrate once the goal has been achieved.

For some people, kids especially, it can be hard to accept that things need to change or be different.  But I think you’ll improve your chances of success by following these simple steps.  If you have any other ideas, or comments, please be sure to share them below.

You might also like…
How to Survive the Holidays and Maintain Balance
How to Beat Holiday Stress and Busyness
How to Enjoy Holiday Food Without the Weight Gain
13 Ways to Save Money & Beat the Stress of Holiday Shopping & Gift Giving

You can beat the stress of holiday shopping this year!

Is it me, or is the Christmas season starting earlier every year?

Halloween was barely over before the Christmas decorations and the pre-Christmas sales started appearing in the stores in my community.  Santa arrived by horse-drawn carriage last Friday night (November 13) at one of our local malls, and was escorted to the place where he’ll sit from now until December 24, so kids can tell him what they want for Christmas.

Personally, I enjoy going out to the stores and malls to shop during the holidays. I even enjoy taking my five kids with me! I make it an event and have fun. I enjoy the music, the sights, the smells, the deals, and the people.

My wife, and millions of others, on the other hand, would prefer to never set foot in the mall again until all the Christmas decor has been packed away.

For many, Christmas shopping and gift giving adds a lot of stress to their lives. They hate the crowds in the stores, the pressure to find the “perfect” gift, and the expectation to spend a certain amount of money on each person on their list.

Here are 13 ways you can cut down the stress and simplify shopping and gift giving this holiday season:

1. If you must shop at the mall or certain “big box” stores, shop at off-peak hours. You can call the store and ask them what time-frame they would recommend.
2. Shop at arts and craft fairs. You’re sure to find unique (and maybe even custom-made and personalized) gifts for that special someone.
3. Buy from stores or organizations that feature fair-trade gifts made by artisans in the developing world, like Ten Thousand Villages.  The artisans are paid a living wage and proceeds from sales go to help other would-be artisans get started.
4. Instead of buying a gift, give a donation in that person’s honor to a charity or cause you or they care about.
5. Instead of buying gifts for your family, plan a special trip, event or activity that the entire family will enjoy.  That’s what our family is doing this year!
6. Shop online.  The Monday after American Thanksgiving is known as “Cyber Monday,” the biggest online shopping day of the year.  This is a great way to beat the crowds!  And you often get free shipping.  I’m continually amazed at how much stuff you can buy at Amazon.com.  It’s not just for books anymore!
7. Give gift certificates/gift cards.  You never have to worry about picking the right size or color!  You can buy them at most any retailer, or online.
8. Take advantage of pre-holiday sales now.  Seems like every major retailer is advertising “lowest prices of the season.”
9. Be sure to set a budget. Decide in advance how much you are going to spend, and don’t go into debt!  Sadly, so much stress is created in January once those credit card bills start coming in.
10. If you’re out of work, or don’t have as much to spend on Christmas gifts as you have in the past, don’t be afraid to let people know.  You would do yourself and them a favor if you adjusted their expectations in advance.
11. If you typically buy gifts for your entire family – your kids, nephews and nieces, aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpa, etc. – ask if you can draw names this year instead.  My wife’s family decided to start doing this a few years ago, and it saved us all a lot of money and headache!  Each person’s name goes in a box or a hat.  Then each person draws a name and buys a gift for that person, instead of a gift for everyone.
12. Give white elephant gifts at your family or company Christmas party.  This is a great (and no-cost) way to have fun and slough off something you’d love to get rid of.  And who knows, you just might get something you could actually use!
13. Here’s a great gift-giving alternative for families and for companies:  Ask people to pitch in together to donate money to a charity or cause you care about, instead of buying gifts for each other.  I’ve known companies that matched whatever their employees donated.  And I’ve known families that have given to the same charity year after year.

Any of these options can help you save money and reduce the stress of holiday shopping this year.  Give one a try – it just might become one of your new holiday traditions!  And if you have any other ideas – please be sure to share them!

You might also like…
How to Survive the Holidays and Maintain Balance
How to Beat Holiday Stress and Busyness
How to Enjoy Holiday Food Without the Weight Gain
How to Change Expectations During the Holidays or Anytime
Coping with Holiday Stress

This year, enjoy holiday meals without the weight gain!

The holidays are one of my favorite times of the year.  And one reason is all the food!

From American Thanksgiving until New Years, there’s a steady stream of parties and special dinners.  Some are full meals with meat and all the trimmings, others are just hors d’ourves – but lots of them!  And of course, there’s all the desserts:  pies, cheesecakes, Christmas cookies, and more.

Many years, I’ve gained weight during the holidays, like so many people do.  But this year, I’m planning to maintain my weight.

Here’s how I’m going to do it:

1. I’m going to increase my exercise regimen from now until New Years.
2. I’m going to make trade-offs in what I eat.  On days when I have a holiday meal or special event planned, I’m going to lower my caloric intake for the other meals that day.
3. I’m going to enjoy smaller samples of desserts instead of taking a whole piece.

What about you?  Do you often gain weight during the holidays?  If so, give some of these strategies a try and see if they’ll help you keep the extra weight off this year.  If you have any other ideas, please be sure to share them!

You might also like:
How to Survive the Holidays and Maintain Balance
How to Beat Holiday Stress and Busyness
13 Ways to Save Money & Beat the Stress of Holiday Shopping & Gift Giving
How to Change Expectations During the Holidays or Anytime
How to Cope with Holiday Stress

Brace yourself…Christmas is coming.  It happens every year on December 25th, yet, it seemingly catches many people by surprise.  Not just the day, but the entire holiday season.

Why is this?  I think it’s because many people just let the holidays “happen” to them instead of taking the time to plan ahead.

The holiday season seems to be the busiest time of the year for many, and the busyness is the cause of a lot of stress:

• There are parties to attend – sponsored by your employer or hosted by friends (or maybe you even host one yourself).
• If you have children, chances are good that you’ll need to attend their holiday programs at school or church.
• There are other special events like parades, visiting Santa, and concerts and programs.
• And of course, there are get-togethers with family, which may involve travel and sometimes added stress if there are strained relationships.

Why is the busyness of the season a cause of added stress in our lives?  I think it is because we often add a bunch of new holiday activities to our schedule without making adjustments and trade-offs (taking other things off our schedule).

We can eliminate a lot of stress this holiday season by remembering how busy the season can get and by making adjustments to our schedule in order to fit in all the extra holiday activities.  A little proactive planning ahead of time can make a big difference!

Take a look at your calendar now, and make sure you add all the parties, programs, and special events you’ll want to attend.  Then look at all the things you already had scheduled, or you know you’ll need to get done anyway, and find a way to get them done ahead of time.

What things can you get done before Thanksgiving?  What things can you get done the first week of December, before things start to get busy?  A little planning ahead can make a big difference and help you maintain balance during the holidays.

I’ve found that another way to beat stress is to make time to remember the real reason for the Christmas season.  Also, when I attend parties, programs and get-togethers, I look at them not just as busy times on my schedule, but great opportunities to connect and share with others.

Make this Christmas season the best one yet by giving these ideas a try.  And if you have any other ideas on how to beat the busyness of holiday activities, please be sure to share them!

You might also like…
How to Survive the Holidays and Maintain Balance
How to Enjoy Holiday Food Without the Weight Gain
13 Ways to Save Money & Beat the Stress of Holiday Shopping & Gift Giving
How to Change Expectations During the Holidays or Anytime

Don't let stress ruin your holidays!

Here in the U.S., Thanksgiving is just two weeks away.

With it, comes the start of the busy Holiday season.  A season of shopping and gift buying, holiday parties, holiday shows and events, and over-eating.  For some, it is also a season of stress and depression.

Is it possible to survive the holidays and maintain balance in your life?  Is it possible to enjoy the holidays without the stress that so often accompanies them?

I think so.  That’s why I’m beginning a special series that will help you enjoy stress-free holidays.  If you have any tips you’d like to share, or any questions you want to ask, please send them my way.

You might also like…
How to Beat Holiday Stress and Busyness
How to Enjoy Holiday Food Without the Weight Gain
13 Ways to Save Money & Beat the Stress of Holiday Shopping & Gift Giving
How to Change Expectations During the Holidays or Anytime
Coping with Holiday Stress